And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
