HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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