Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
