she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize