i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
