we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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