someone get that fucking seahorse.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I have fence marks all over my body
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
