Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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