THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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