I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
