ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
