is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
