either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
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