My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
