our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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