Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Boobs are out for the taking
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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