Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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