one might say we're banned from that church
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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