Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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