You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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