I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
