I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
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