I think my vagina is haunted
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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