doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
