A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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