girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
