the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
