I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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