Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
