I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
