dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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