Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
