ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
