I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
