so that wasnt chicken after all
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
