I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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