im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
