Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
