I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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