I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Is Oprah even human
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
