What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
