I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
