this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
