Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
