I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
