Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
