Do vagina's smell?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
