No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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