...so i touched it.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Randomize
