Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
