Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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