I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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