Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Randomize