I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
