He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
