I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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