I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
