He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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