first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
