I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize