we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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