he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
