So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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