You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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