Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
